Risk

I thought I was a 'gung-ho, risk-loving, wild dad' who laughed in the face of danger and (metaphorically) threw his kids into shark infested waters in order for them to learn how to hunt and swim at the same time. I have never shied away from my kids riding bikes on the street, playing cricket with the hard ball, playing out of sight at Kuitpo Forest, etc. 

However, coming to Canada has been a real shock to my self-image as a parent. I keep on wanting them to stop doing certain activities that other people seem fine with. Basically it's all the stuff that I didn't so as a kid. Can they run up and slide down staircases (in people's houses)? Can they go outside in the cold with hardly any snow gear on? Can they ride horses even though people keep getting thrown off?

My initial response continually seems to be: "Take it easy" and I don't know how I feel about this. I want my children to have a great, (acceptable) risk filled life. I grew up water skiing and riding motorbikes with no helmet (on a farm). And I would have no issue with my kids doing either of these things. I just have no internal guide rails about life in Canada with kids. What is an acceptable risk here? I'm finding it very hard to gauge.

On the same topic, but related to my activities. Horse riding and I do not seem like a great combination. I have been on 2 rides over here and both have ended up with someone thrown off their horse. The first time it was my sister-in-law (and my horse almost threw me off), the second time it was me. My horse didn't try to throw me, it stumbled badly and I fell against it's neck and then went straight to the ground. Riding horses seems like an activity that (for me) has the risk/reward ratio screwed way off in the negative zone. I keep seeing people falling off (everyone around here has a story about falling off and getting hurt at some point) and I just don't get any real enjoyment out of riding. People keep telling me that you need a relationship with the animal to really enjoy it; and I totally agree with that. I genuinely enjoyed riding 'my' horse (Duke) at CSR. But now, I think I would rather just walk, or ride a bike, or ski, or skateboard. A bunch of those activities have risk built into them too (bombing hills on a longboard comes to mind), but they are just so much more fun.

I ask people over here why they like horse-riding and they just light up. They love it. They cannot stop loving it. I understand this feeling, for I feel it for ice-skating and snowboarding. I just love it. But horses, nah. They seem like nice animals, but I just don't have that magnetic draw to them. It's just a big pile of meh.

However, I feel some sense of duty to learn how to ride and to love riding, as all of Bonnie's family live and love horses. It feels that to be a full member of the family, I need to get into the horse thing. I remember this feeling from when I was dating Bonnie. I put soooo much pressure on myself to be into horses. But it never really clicked, and it seems that it never really will. But it makes me feel quite emotional, and I do feel that I will never really be accepted in. It's most likely all in my head, but that doesn't make it in my head.